Uncle Pecos Rides Again Out With the Old Tic Tac Dough Part 1

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Abrasive relatives are role of life, though they tin can be annoying in different ways.^[i] Dealing with annoying relatives means first understanding that you don't accept to believe them, react to them, or agree with them at all, though chances are you lot'll be frustrated and annoyed a lot.^{[2] [3]} Either way, at sure times you'll accept to exist in contact with them to different degrees, and there are several methods for how to deal. ^[4] Try them all until you notice a combination that works!

1. 1

   When you speak, exist respectful, genuine, and diplomatic. When you do determine to speak, answer respectfully and merely to the particular you wish.^[5] When they ask you questions, effort to respond authentically if and when y'all can.^[vi]

   • Larn to listen better. Listening isn't merely waiting until another person is finished talking.^[seven]

2. ii

   Avert trigger topics, yours and theirs. ^[8] Maybe you know that your cherished political beliefs differ from your relatives', or that your body piercings and blue hair make your grandparents cringe. When you tin can, temper your perspectives and if possible, your advent, just to go along the peace.

   • Try to avoid sensitive or provocative topics; instead, suggest useful alternatives.
   • If they say something to you, good or bad, but say thank you and move on.^[9]
   • Don't argue with them all the time. Arguing with another person is what creates conflict.

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3. iii

   Cull your battles wisely. Not every strange, atrocious, rude or ignorant thing they say needs to be corrected.^[x]

   • If they say something hateful or odd nigh someone you care most or honey, you will probably want to stand upwards to them, and so fix some answers and comments ahead of time.

4. 4

   If you need a break, have one. Needing a break from a person is not a flaw, and you tin can duck out of the conversation if you need to past excusing yourself and then returning when you lot have had a take a chance to collect yourself.^[xi]

   • If you lot demand some other interruption, have information technology! Repeat as necessary. Maybe you're trying out having a conversation where before you would have avoided it, or ignored information technology.

5. 5

   If you do speak, wait before you lot answer. Have a deep breath and await before speaking.^[12]

   • Sometimes the person will movement onto another topic without skipping a beat, saving you the trouble.
   • Giving yourself a moment allows you to call back before you lot speak prevents y'all from overreacting or saying something you might later regret.^[13]
   • Have some responses worked out ahead of time to the abrasive questions y'all know you'll exist asked.

6. six

   Repeat the annoying affair they said. ^[14] Repeating what someone says to you lot is the best mode to let them know they were heard.

   • Listening is a skill, and repeating what they say can show them not just what they said, but how it feels to hear those words.^[15]

7. seven

   Alter the subject. If your relative is being super annoying, endeavor irresolute the subject or ask them a question, out of the blue.

8. viii

   Know your limits, and defend your boundaries. ^[16] Knowing what will trigger your impatience, anger, or sense of badgerer in advance is the first-step to taking control of your well-being.^[17]

   • If you can, ask the person to not hash out that topic/result, or permit them know yous haven't forgotten their question and will answer when y'all can.
   • If they press you, say nothing and change the topic.

9. 9

   Let information technology go, and walk away. If none of the techniques above work, just let get of the conversation and walk away.

   • Not replying is still a reply, one maxim "This is too unpleasant a topic to deal with."
   • Walking away shows you respect yourself and that you lot tin can "live and permit live." Move on!

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1. i

   Avoid being around your abrasive relatives. ^[xviii] If there are some relatives you know will e'er annoy you, try to avoid seeing them or being around them if possible.^[xix]

   • If you cannot avert them entirely, only effort to spend as little time as possible with them.^[20]
   • If you have to spend fourth dimension with them, speak with them as little equally possible.^[21]

2. 2

   Ignore your annoying relatives. If you take to exist around your super-annoying relatives, try ignoring them when they say something to yous, when they do something annoying, or just walk away.^[22]

   • Ignoring annoying behaviors (and there are many) is a skilful way to rise higher up the crowd and not to engage, fifty-fifty if they are abrasive you.^{[23] [24]}

3. 3

   Exercise something solitary. Alone activities can build a wall of insulation around you when you are in a place where there are annoying relatives.

   • Go into the kitchen, or a bedroom, just to get away.^[25]
   • Wear headphones.^[26] Wearing headphones shows the people effectually you that you are non interested in talking, and that you lot're really interested in your music, podcast, or whatever.^[27]
   • Read a book. Generally, even abrasive people volition not interrupt you when yous are reading. If they do, merely reply, "I'm reading something for work/schoolhouse/ that's important."

4. iv

   Get a social buffer. A buffer can exist a person who knows how to handle the annoying relatives, like a mom, dad, sibling or friend, who tin can deal and so that you don't have to.^[28]

   • Social buffers should be made aware of their part alee of fourth dimension. Don't but bring one and look them to do all the piece of work while you hibernate out.^[29]
   • Social buffering should be reciprocated! ^[30]

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1. 1

   Accept that the person annoys you lot. Accepting an abrasive relative is non always easy, merely in that location are things you can do to make it happen.^[31]

   • Spend short amounts of time just with them alone. This might seem to exist exactly the opposite thing you lot want to practice, merely your undivided attention, even in small amounts, can go a long manner to diffusing annoying beliefs.^[32]

2. 2

   Don't change them, love them. It might seem counter intuitive, just being loving can often stop the annoyances before they occur. And, it volition certainly changes your perspective.^[33]

   • It's not your purpose in life to change them, because you cannot succeed and you will waste your energy.
   • Do contain love and credence into everything y'all say and do.

3. 3

   Accept yourself. Accept, rather than deny, that you have a hard time dealing with annoying people, and that some of these people are in your family.^{[34] [35]}

   • When y'all get irritated and annoyed, don't blame them. You're the one who cannot bargain with it, and acknowledging this the get-go footstep towards taking responsibility.^[36]
   • Focus on what y'all can practice meliorate to exist the person yous want to be, no matter who you are around, or what they practise or say. You'll always come up out ahead if you focus on yourself.^[37]

4. 4

   Be empathetic. Being empathetic towards yourself, and to those effectually you, can go a long way towards diffusing the annoyance.^[38]

   • Pity is active, not passive, and is something you develop over time.^[39]
   • You will fail at being empathetic from time to time, simply with annoying relatives, you will always get a new run a risk to practice compassion!

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1. one

   Plan a brusk stay. ^[forty] If y'all visiting or staying with relatives who annoy you lot, plan to stay only for a short fourth dimension, whether it's for dinner, or the weekend.^[41]

   • If asked for dinner, set up bated two to 3 hours maximum. Ane and a one-half hours for lunch is sufficient.^[42]
   • If asked for a visit on the weekend, set bated three hours maximum, and try to plan an actual activeness, so that you lot have something to do together.^[43]

2. ii

   Stay at-home. Getting worked up ahead of time can ruin any take a chance y'all have of successfully making information technology through the visit without becoming upset or agitated, and it tin ruin your chances at making good choices considering of stress.^[44]

   • A fiddling stress can help you exist more aware, just too much will wreck you. Being able to calm yourself will help you answer appropriately, and y'all might fifty-fifty surprise yourself.^[45]

3. 3

   Be a practiced guest. Being a practiced guest means respecting your hosts' hours and habits, and following the rules of the house, and even to a caste offsetting the cost of your visit in thoughtful means.^[46]

   • Discuss your plans and free time, so that you lot know ahead of time what y'all will need to schedule, rent, and and so on.^[47]
   • Don't take over public spaces, spread out everywhere, or take over the bath or kitchen.
   • Don't talk on the telephone loudly or listen to music in public spaces. Go exterior or into a chamber, or utilise your headphones.
   • Exercise clean up after yourself in the bathroom and in the kitchen. If y'all can, offer to clean up later others too, including putting away dishes, taking out the trash, etc.^[48]
   • Do offer to run errands, pick upward groceries, or take-out, to proceed things running smoothly and to supervene upon what you lot consume.^[49]
   • Get out them with a dainty hosting souvenir, and definitely paw write a thanks annotation after your departure.^[50]

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1. 1

   Have time off when they arrive. Endeavour to have off a little time in order to evidence your relatives that they affair.^[51]

   • It volition help you be less stressed if you don't have to juggle work when they arrive, even if yous exercise have to work during the visit.

2. 2

   Welcome them properly. Welcoming people into your home or metropolis can involve an array of things, only almost always including washing and/or eating. ^[52]

   • If they are staying at your domicile, enquire them whether they would like to wash up or swallow first, and and then make that happen.
   • Discuss your plans for the visit afterwards they've been fed and/or showered, and shown to their room or hotel.

3. three

   Plan and personalize where they volition stay. Putting a little thought and effort into making your abrasive relatives' sleeping area cozy and inviting for them volition disarm them, in a adept mode.^[53]

   • Sometimes you will be lucky enough to have a spare bedroom, just even at a hotel you can stop by and bring them some h2o and snacks, a bottle of wine and a wine opener, or some nice magazines that they would find interesting.

4. iv

   Plan a few meals and activities. Planning a few meals and few activities can assist structure the fourth dimension.

   • Don't feel compelled to produce elaborate dinners to impress your family, merely if you like cooking and it makes y'all happy, do information technology.
   • Downtime is but every bit important, and then don't forget to include that.
   • Plan meals or dining out alternatives that will fit everyone's checkbook.

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do y'all avoid bad relatives?

  

  Seth Hall is a Life Coach and the Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los-Angeles based life-coaching visitor. He specializes in working with groups and individuals to build good for you habits and behaviors that pb to a prosperous lifestyle. He is likewise the co-author of The Mountain Method and The Mountain Method: Children's Edition. Seth is a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through the iNLP Center.

  

  Take care of yourself, whether that means stepping outside or driving yourself to an outcome then you lot can go out if you need; or intentionally spending time with those who you get forth with.

• Question

  How do you deal with ignorant family unit members?

  

  Seth Hall is a Life Coach and the Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los-Angeles based life-coaching company. He specializes in working with groups and individuals to build healthy habits and behaviors that lead to a prosperous lifestyle. He is as well the co-author of The Mount Method and The Mountain Method: Children's Edition. Seth is a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through the iNLP Middle.

  

  Understanding that just because someone is blood does non mean you lot are obligated to share fourth dimension and space with them. If in that location is a family unit outcome where yous volition see them, effort to be kind and respectful while maintaining your boundaries.

• Question

  What should I exercise if I have an aunt that accuses me of complaining about chores, just I know I never said anything?

  

  You can say she must take dislocated you for someone else considering you never complained about chores. If y'all insists, just express mirth information technology off and move on - modify the discipline if y'all'd like.

• Question

  What if the annoying relatives are my parents?

  

  Try to be respectful and not talk back or do anything to upset them. Take frequent breaks and try to call back beyond their behavior to the life you'd rather alive when you lot finally leave home.

• Question

  What can I do if a relative cheated me at a game?

  

  Call them out on information technology. Get in humorous, such as "Aw c'mon Uncle Gerry, I know you're better than that cheating around stuff I just witnessed and so. Allow'south play it properly this fourth dimension and I'll permit you have some of my famous chocolate block if you win off-white and square." Say it loudly so that everyone hears, and don't grimace or human action whiny, go along it fun and lite.

• Question

  My cousin comes over every time there'due south no school. It's irritating because I don't like her company and every stupid thing she says makes me want to punch her. What do I do?

  

  DIYoreo's

  Community Respond

  Calmly get in clear to her when she does do something irritating that you don't like it. Likewise, try to decorated yourself with chores, errands, 'school projects', etc. and so that you accept a reason non to be effectually her.

• Question

  My 2 abrasive daughter cousins always pick on me and call me names. What should I do?

  

  Ignore them. If that doesn't work, tell an developed. Your or their parents should find a way to stop their behavior.

• Question

  What can I exercise if I accept a younger cousin that swears at you if you tell her that she is doing the incorrect affair?

  

  Ignore her, play with a game on your ain, practice a sport, etc. If you accept to play together, stay around adults and so they tin can hear what is going on.

• Question

  My stepdad flirts with my mom besides much and it gets really annoying. He says the cheesiest pick upward lines! What do I exercise?

  

  Information technology's your mom's human relationship. Talk to her nigh how information technology leaves you feeling and she tin can talk to him almost toning downward his behavior when you're around. Withal, yous likewise need to make compromises, it's about being a family, not well-nigh what you alone desire. And remember, all teenagers find anyone over 20 having a human relationship to be somewhat disgusting.

• Question

  I don't want my fiancé to meet my annoying relatives. They are too wicked and ask likewise many unnecessary questions. What should I do?

  

  Just explicate to your fiancé that they are annoying, and how y'all feel about them. Tell him why they're abrasive.

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• When the time comes to visit them, pretend like yous are sick. You might be allowed to stay abode.

• If possible, deal with the annoyance speedily and early on, then that y'all don't build upward resentment and distaste for the person. Hopefully, the state of affairs will resolve as soon as you lot address it, and you can move on quickly.

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• Engaging directly with annoying relatives in front of others can create hard feelings and embarrassment, so if you feel information technology is necessary to confront them, practice it in individual.

• Confrontations can atomic number 82 to escalated emotional states and create distinct "parties" in a family (think soap opera dramas) that can linger for years and years, and so consider carefully if yous should confront someone or not.

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Article Summary X

To deal with annoying relatives, try your all-time to stay calm effectually them, and spend as footling fourth dimension with them as possible so they don't become on your nerves as much. If you lot have to be effectually them, try to ignore their more frustrating behaviors or escape for some solitary moments. For example, become into the kitchen or bedroom for a breather, wear headphones, or read a book to tune your relatives out. When you have to interact with your relatives, exist respectful, genuine, and diplomatic to avert confrontations. You tin likewise accept breaks when you lot need to regroup after a particularly annoying interaction. To learn how to accept your annoying relatives, keep reading!

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